“Sure let’s do it!” I said into my I-phone with a smile on my face. I wanted my friend to know I cared about her, that I was excited to hang out with her even if it was just via zoom. When I hung up the phone though I my smile went away instantaneously, and I realized I actually felt quite sad. Sad because I really miss hanging out with her. Our fun outings to our favorite Vietnamese place have ceased and the place has closed down. Our time chatting, sipping coffee and dipping items into chocolate fondue are paused for the foreseeable future and I really miss that in-person fun we used to have.
While at times masking our emotions makes sense, doing this time and time again can be harmful to us. We can become so “masked” that our emotions are never expressed. This often causes emotional “bursts”. Times when anger comes out like a volcano, brought on by something fairly trivial. Times when we can’t get out of bed and we don’t exactly know the reason. Emotions that are not expressed can go underground and eat at us from the inside. Some of the work we do with clients is learning to notice our emotions and to express them in ways that are helpful before they become explosive or become stuck.
I zoomed with my friend while we sipped hot chocolate and we laughed like we always do, and I let her know that while I was happy for the hang out, I also felt sad. Expressing emotion feels good. It feels authentic. It left me feeling hopeful.
If you’d like help for yourself, your teen or child in the area of recognizing and expression emotion in a healthy way, feel free to book a session with us (Sue or Krister).